What Was Written
by Pernicia
Summary: What was written? Poems based on songs, scenes, and characters from Spring Awakening. Everything from Martha's fairy tales to Moritz's final thoughts. Next up, All Will Know: "An afterlife? An almost wife? Who'd want that long to grieve?"
1. So Dark

**Disclaimer:** Spring Awakening: not mine. Hence the pining and the whining.

**Notes:** So basically, I was bored. I had a pencil and loose leaf. This came. If the reviews are good (or even existent), I'm going to make this a collection. If not… well, it depends on how often I get bored and have loose leaf.

In the one, we're starting with an ending- yes, "Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind," for Moritz and Ilse lovers like myself. I do seem to kill him off in quite a few of my fics… This one's an epic- to be fair, it did go with the longest song. The rhythm isn't quite steady, but the rhymes and syllables all work, and I'm not a professional poet anyway. Reading it aloud slowly helps. So… here it is:

**Note Two: **The direct thoughts are in italics, and the stuff being said aloud is in quotes. Since Moritz is angsting to himself, his song portion is considered narration whereas I'm putting Ilse's in quotes, since she's trying to convince him but ends up sounding merely nostalgic. When Ilse and Moritz's thoughts collide, Ilse's will be in quotes- maybe she's saying them offstage. Also, I don't know what you'd call the format I use on this poem (ABAC;DEDC), so if anyone knows, I'd appreciate it if you included that in a review. Or PM me. Oh, and the spacing got messed up from Word to the site. Basically, the stanza break is every eight lines, after the period- and now it's not letting me center it either, hopefully that's just a glitch in the system...

_SO DARK_

So awful sweet, if he could be

A little butterfly

Just winging high, aloof, carefree

No worries deep inside;

To sing a song that's so gentle,

So free of thoughts and dreams

That turn awakened men mental,

Just flowing with the tide.

Or summer wind upon the breeze,

To be that free of thought!

Knowing but naught, just mindless ease,

One quick pass through, then on;

For anyone or anything

Could handle this but he,

Left so alone to angst and sing,

Pass time before he's gone.

He simply can't and won't handle;

He knows the time has come.

Blue wind blows the altar candle,

The sadness in his soul;

"I just can't do this thing, sadness,

This itch I can't control!"

He won't outgrow this teen madness,

He'll always stay a foal.

Then ringing out and rushing in,

Calling, "Moritz Stiefel?"

Unchased by men and void of gin,

Always unselfconscious;

"Ilse?" he says, his beating heart,

Thumping ever faster.

"Why frighten me, and break apart

Sessions with my conscience?"

"What are you looking for, Moritz?"

_Solace_, he yearns to say,

_And peace and love_, instead he grits,

"I really do not know;"

She doesn't know the pain, she can't,

The dark he knew so well,

The wishes none could ever grant,

The sticky dreams and woe.

And furthermore, unwittingly,

She lays on him as well

The deeds of men, said kiddingly,

Yet things she'd never tell;

The horrors, oh! "Is he alive?"

But Ilse can't be sure,

Left waiting if he should arrive,

That man with soul from Hell.

Of how she wanders, day by day,

Not knowing where or when

She may find food, a place to stay,

A haven yet again;

But she can handle, for she stands

Before him, offering,

"Come with me, Moritz: let's hold hands.

Remember way back then?

"When we'd play pirates, you and I,

And Melchi, Wendla too?

As endless, numbered days passed by,

When we'd sail on with ease?;

Spring and summer, coming, calling

Through the open meadow

Blue wind whirling, mourning, falling,

In gentle summer breeze.

"Where Melchi, standing tall and lean,

Plays the charming captain,

And Wendla is the fairy queen,

The purest gem of heart;

And me, I'd be a wild thing!

Amazon or captive,

And you, the mate, just lingering,

For any open part.

"Just listening to summer wind

As it floats high and blue,

Forgetting how you lusted, sinned,

Or acted ever dumber;

A time to be just as we are,

The children on the grass,

Hopeful, pained, it travels far,

Through the spring and summer."

In her eyes, the fleeting sorrow

Gathered finally shatters,

Breaking way to new tomorrow

With summer's finest glow;

Wishing it was him- if only-

The boy drowns in his pain,

Croaking now, and ever lonely,

"I really have to go."

"Just walk me home, please, once again!"

The summer maiden pleads.

"I'll curl your hair, just like back then,

This time, though, you'll let me;"

He wants to shout, _Back where? Back when?_

_That was so long ago._

_I can't go back. Back where? Back when?_

_Before this agony._

The part that longed to just be heard

That didn't like to shout

That yearned to say that single word,

Admit and just say, _yes_;

Was shadowed by that stubborn itch,

The lust, then urge to run,

He could not treat her like a bitch,

A prize sewn in a dress.

"I can't," he states, though as to what

He meant, he has no clue.

He has no shield, he has no gut,

Why can't he just say _yes_?;

"Parallelepipedon!" he explains,  
"Virgil! Hapsburg! Essays!"

Any excuse to hide his pains,

His secret willingness.

So maybe he should be some kind

Of hanging laundry line

Just hang him, knot him in a bind

And leave him out to dry;

To bask in their sun, try to see

The future folded up

But tottering unstably,

Just trying not to cry.

The spirits now, they'll set him free

To fly among the wind,

To exit in ecstasy, he

Sails up, above, apart;

Unhindered by those summer winds,

Or dreams, desires, doubts,

Just going, going, he rescinds

All ties to home and heart.

His angst so loud, he cannot hear

Ilse's silver calling.

She's limitless, she has no fear,

Declarations collide;

There's no mistake, the failures weigh,

He does not do sadness.

"Spring and summer, each, every day,

Just flowing with wind's tide!"

He doesn't need it in his life,

He's done his time with it.

"No need for worry, pain, or strife.

Blue wind blows it away;"

Just numbly watching his life pass,

Blows, it blows his mind.

"Those textbooks open on the grass,

The wind through corn and hay."

He won't do sadness; he's been there.

"Through the snow, pain, woe, rain-"

He'll leave this sadness; he won't care.

"Always spring and summer;"

As the echoing calls subside,

Words, or word of body?

The boy's heart sinks, for he has lied,

And now the world seems glummer.

He's lied, and he will lie again

For he cannot lie to

Himself, he can't act like those men

He knows he can't take truth;

He looks to Ilse, full of hope,

And he fills of despair

Soon, no more need to fake, to cope,

Cower before his youth.

"I'm sorry, Ilse," Moritz states,

Feeling oddly cruel.

Beyond horizon, darkness waits,

Waits to devour his soul;

No pleasure found in his half tries

To shove some pain on her,

He simply presses on with lies,

To slowly cease control.

"I've work to do, please understand-"

_It isn't you, it's me…_

_Nothing has gone as I have planned_

"I simply have to go;"

He simply had to go, he knew,

When he went there, no dark,

Not anymore, he'd see what's true:

It's all just one big show.

"If you say so," the young girl pouts,

Thinking life sailed too fast,

So full of coming, falling outs

And rude awakening;

Soon she'd be all alone again,

Alone to face the dark,

To swallow all her sorrows, then

Walk on, awake in spring.

"Before you even notice me,

Or wonder where I am,

In some trash heap, that's where I'll be,

Forever sailing on!;"

Her spiteful cries touch him too late

As Ilse breaks away.

Could it be helped, or was it fate?

No matter how, she's gone.

He simply couldn't reach her hand

From the cliff he dangled.

He's falling, and she's left to stand.

He wonders, _Will she grieve?_;

His fingers couldn't stick like theirs,

So used to touches, dreams.

He's had enough of those nightmares,

Enough! He has to leave.

_Before you even notice me,_

_How much time will have passed?_

_An angel, that's what I will be,_

_Forever sailing on_;

The thoughts exist but in his head,

All the unheard yearnings

Run loose, regret waits in their stead

Once the echoes are gone:

"Moritz, can't you hear my yearning?

If only you were here.

See beyond, instead I'm learning,

I speak to just one ear;"

_Overwhelmed by endless yearning,_

_If only I could hear,_

_See beyond the fires, burning,_

_I'm trapped in constant fear._

A pity, such a wasted chance,

But better that she's gone.

A pony, then, he'll watch it prance

And dress it up in lace;

Black, shiny silk, then watch it dance,

A mirror above his bed,

He'd force it on its knees and hands,

Helpless daughter of grace.

And when they'd talk of lust, he'd smile,

Just in this fantasy.

Yes, he shall laugh, and all the while,

Inside, his soul will scream;

Scream to be that child of woe,

To live like that! Like her!

To always come but never go,

So trapped inside their dream!

Unselfconscious, used to terror,

Haunted, daunted, wanted,

Gun on breast, no room for error-

_Submit, the dark I know!_;

Pretend he acted like those men

Whose lives will surpass his,

Those men who come again, again,

_The dark, so dark, oh, OH!_

_Played pirates under summer sky,_

_I got drunk in the snow._

_I'll be an angel, flying high,_

_With wings- now I'm ready_;

He'll be those men on distant ships,

Women sailing with him,

Bare kisses wishing on their lips,

Vessel staying steady.

He's come here without knowing it,

The tapers by the bank.

He'll watch the water pass and sit-

It's slow as molten led;

In his mind, his brains are hanging

From the willow branches,

A holey head, holy banging,

The tapers now stained red.

He won't forget- he can't forget

And he doesn't wish to.

Why taint those years with blind regret?

_Remember, remember_;

Wigwams with Tomahawks buried,

Cowbells, Latin, pirates,

Laughing, rafting, getting "married,"

Alive, valued member.

He lights the match, watches it burn-

Too absurd, empty words,

Ashes, death- now there's no return:

_Remember, remember!_;

Look!- In and out and roundabout!

Souls, ghosts, sparks- shooting stars!

The letter crumples, it's died out,

Vanished but one ember.

Before the flames, horizon showed,

The rushes and a line,

But winter's come with ashes snowed,

So far from summer's vow;

The night has come, its shadowed hand

Waits for the final light.

The boy looks down, he shudders and

Shan't go home again now.

No light, no home, one hue, one touch-

_Touch me, _silver magic

Whispers softly from his dark clutch.

His aim won't miss its mark;

His fingers squeeze the fatal gun.

_Set me free, angels, ghosts._

One echoed bang, then there were none,

Just dark, so dark, SO…!

…_dark…_

**

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**

This totally ruins the effect. Anyway, needless to say, I worked REALLY hard on this, so I would really appreciate reviews of any kind- tips on improvement, a detailed description of why you hated it… or even if you loved it.

**I'd also like to dedicate this to anyone who has known and lost someone like Moritz, and to the Moritz's of our world- may your Ilse save you.**


	2. Ghost

**Disclaimer: **Well, theoretically, I could be Wedekind reincarnated, but the authorities just don't seem to buy that…

**Notes: **This one's based on "Whispering." It's a randomly rhyming free-verse. It seemed fitting for the thoughts going through Wendla's mind.

_GHOST_

Wind whistling through windows

In white night, saddening sight

Of curled girl, dreams unfurled,

Skin of pearl in noon moon

In her chair, so scared, unprepared

Waiting whiles, facing trials, traveling miles

All alone, troubles owned, as wind moans,

Whispering, blistering, glistening.

Moonlight; new sight

Didn't do right, parasite

Fumbled in, stumbled in

Welcomed by mumbles, grumbles.

Girl crumples at the world,

Whirling, swirling

Mist and mind,

Listlessly left behind.

Risks taken, bliss awakened,

Falling, calling, hauling

The phantom, unplanned, no hand

To hold as life unfolds, tale to be told,

Unheard, no words,

Just body, naughty, shoddy,

Used, abused, unloosed,

Lost in dreams like _Faust_,

Impure but cured at the cost

Of life- strife,

Decision: division or collision?

Crowds bow outside, now vow inside.

Mama made her sad, so bad, she was had

Weeping, seeping sorrow,

Waiting, hating, tomorrow

Why lie? Why cry? Why die?

Innocence, sinning sense, thin and cleansed,

Shameless but blameless, nameless-

Finger of the bringer linger

On the womb- soon haunted tomb?

History, mystery, misery,

Moonlight beams, creaming schemes, late-night dreams,

Wiled, defiled, guilty child

Carrying, soon burying the child so mild,

Her, its only support- abort for the Lord?

Dope and mope or cope with hope?

Haunted, daunted by unwanted

Spark of heart, parked soon to part

Still the love was from above-

Mangers, angels, dangers, cradles

Filled, not killed by pills.

That night- didn't do right, and the light

Was lit, the kit- it fit.

Little miss, brittle bliss, kiss

It good-bye, the mirror blue nigh

Heard her sigh, sent the bird by her word,

Her cries on sunrise.

She let him. Forget him? Regret him?

How? It's bow or be a cow,

With calf,

Realized with sighs, chastised by cries,

Alone, moans, groans, and no atones!

But light- so trite, yet right!

Whispering, blistering,

glistening, listening

To blue wind of those who sinned,

Calling, recalling before falling.

Forgive. Give. Live

Unhindered by winter,

Sing in spring, no ring

Of rosies, gather posies

In the woods, where he stood

Not for graves but save, favor what he gave her.

Fall is coming, one call, and he's running

To her manger, all in danger

Bear and bare, so bare and scared.

Having born, no need to mourn, if scorned

In a bind, she'll find her kind of like mind

Girl opened to the world, hurled

In a storm, lights swarm, but she's warm,

Roasting mostly in the hope

She's not toast. Post-time, the host listens,

Go'est, to the ghost.

**

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And we all know what happens next. You review, of course.**


	3. Beauty and the Beast

**Disclaimer: **In my wildest dreams…

**Notes: **It seems I can only write depressing poems. This one's "Beauty and the Beast," a fairy tale version of "The Dark I Know Well" (only Martha's story, not Ilse's). Basically, it's a long string of allusions to every relevant fairy tale or famous work I can think of. If you're old enough to listen to "The Dark I Know Well," you're old enough to read this.

The format is the same as my first poem (So Dark), with a couplet every two stanzas. I'd really appreciate reviews to see if I did justice to one of my favorite songs from _Spring Awakening_. As poets know, poems can take just as long if not longer to write than chapters. They, like the songs, are built on meticulous formatting and emotion. I added the (xXx) between the stanzas because they wouldn't show otherwise.

_BEAUTY AND THE BEAST_

Cinderella, mice and men,

Storytime has come again.

xXx

Once upon forever time,

A dark and stormy night,

Evil stepmom hears the chime,

The first toll of the clock;

"Martha, time to get to bed,

Put on your magic gown."

Evil stepmom turns her head

And turns the dungeon lock.

xXx

Sleeping by the cinders seems

A better, dirty way.

Better left with wishes, dreams,

Just like Cinderella;

But the dirty girls become

A princess in the night

Dirty still, since he will come,

Lovely, princely fellow.

xXx

Ruby slippers, poppy fields,

Sleeping beauty, spindle wheels.

xXx

Midnight tolls and she ascends,

Glass slipper left behind

Men are mice, and why pretend?

She's just a dirty maid;

The Beast, her prince, is waiting,

His poisoned spindle sharp,

With one prick, she'll be fading-

A girl can be afraid.

xXx

"Let down your hair, Rapunzuel!

Your ruby slippers, off!

The dwarves have left their tunnel.

The stallion mates his mare!"

Poisoned apples in her mouth,

Alas, no tomb of glass,

Fairies, no, or Witch of South,

More in than out, she's bare.

xXx

Beauty, Beast, and midnight feast,

Jekyll, Hyde, and whore deceased.

xXx

Tale as old as every day,

His talons grip her close.

"Desdemona, don't you pray-

The Lord already knows;"

One kiss restores Prince Charming;

Her kiss restores the Beast.

Her petals fall, unarming,

Eternal, wilted rose.

xXx

She's trapped inside his castle,

And since the slipper fits,

He's bound to be her vassal,

Her Dulcinea's lord;

Mingling with beloved kin,

A lord who prays with lips,

Drowning her in silent sin,

Unsheathes his bloody sword.

xXx

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

Cinderella at the ball!

xXx

Beauty, beauty, what's a name?

Aurora, Jasmine, Rose-

Beauty's love, and love is maim

Right back, the sleeping curse;

Love, the strongest form of hate,

Did Juliet no good.

Night, in spite at star-crossed fate,

Made better into worse.

xXx

But Juliet's knife could not feel,

And his knife felt 'til numb.

Giving life that his kind steal

That dies but cannot kill;

Spindle poison flows within,

Too much, and not enough.

"Make me stone, oh, man of tin!

Pinocchio, be still!"

xXx

Kill no mocking bird or song!

Yet singing witches die, ding dong!

xXx

"Sing to me, my Rose, Snow White!

Sing, sing sweet nightingale!

Angel's music of the night!

Sing once upon a dream;"

Mockingbird and albatross

Possess no siren song.

Pirate song, her ship is lost

In "bliss" as thick as cream.

xXx

Looking glass and Neverland,

Eden, Utopia,

Down the hole in Wonderland

Or simply down the hole;

All girls are the same in dark,

Like Montagues and thee,

Nightingales that pray for lark

That gain and lose a soul.

xXx

What of those we left behind?

Those the slipper doesn't find?

xXx

In the end, the villains die.

The prince withdraws his sword.

To kiss his girl-with his eye-

To race off in the sun;

With her villain leaves her prince,

Her Jekyll and her Hyde.

Her ever after's after since

The story's never done.

xXx

Someday soon, her prince will come

And ruin her wishing well,

Whisk her off to his kingdom,

Of which, she cannot tell;

Fair she is, but fairies, no

Nor is it any tale

Ever after is her foe,

The dark she knows so well.

xXx

Poppy fields, paradise lost.

Love comes at too high a cost.

xXx

Waking, her prince was a dream,

A wish her heart has made.

The steps are barking for their cream.

Hers stays inside her head;

With three fairies, ever fair,

She hides from curse at birth.

"Time to cut Rapunzuel's hair!"

The fools would have her dead!

xXx

"You want to be the princess.

You want the rose and pearl.

Well, what about the incest?

The things they make you feel?

Parents say these things are fake.

Our parents know to lie.

Don't you make the same mistake.

My fairy tales are real."

xXx

Fairy Princess, pirates, dress,

Hero, damsel in distress.

xXx

Once upon a time to them

Is not quite yet upon.

Understand, not comprehend.

Their lives will still move on;

Can't believe, then don't believe,

Regret and then forget,

Three fairies leave, soon to grieve,

When one of them is gone.

xXx

Each will get her bridal bed

In castle or in tomb,

Married, buried, to death wed,

For better or for worse;

Every princess gets her prince

But too late do they see

Tales end after marriage since

It's then that starts the curse.

xXx

Picking daisies, read the text,

Catch them, and you'll wear them next.

**

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Um… Happy Easter? AKA, review? For Martha (who is so underappreciated)?**


	4. Someday Soon

**Disclaimer: **Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, well fine, not like it's even worth the time. 'Cause still you know- it's not my show! Sorry, that won't change.

**Notes: **Long time, no post. I've been busy parodying lyrics. (Which is going well, but for those of you waiting for the somewhat sequel to Spring Mistakening, don't get your hopes up- it's going to be a long while still.) Anyway, I've had this written since last spring and just been too lazy to type it up. This is from Melchior's POV during "All That's Known" and is mainly to that tune and rhyme scheme too. It's as if he were writing in his infamous diary. Enjoy (a synonym, in my book, to review)!

_SOMEDAY SOON_

Someday soon

Away from priests and cowards.

Afternoon

The minutes spent as hours.

The morning

Spent mourning education.

The world is but a classroom that

Is one assimilation.

xXx

Sticks and stones

Will taint your skin a dirt blue.

Monotones,

Their words will always hurt you.

Try thinking,

They'll try you that much harder

'Til thinking is repeating, and

They call you that much smarter.

xXx

What they teach

Is history repeated.

And they preach

As if it all succeeded.

Wars are holy,

But sleeping gets demerits,

Yet if you have your money, then

Everything becomes fair shit.

xXx

Understand

The body is a language.

Upper hand

To conquer all the anguish.

Their lessons

Just lessen comprehension,

And knowing what you don't will only

Lead to apprehension.

xXx

Redefine.

Debates are never-ending.

Undermine

Reality's pretending.

Be yourself, since

Everyone else is taken.

Think beyond their thoughtless thoughts

And springtime will awaken.

xXx

Undertake

Your hero's tale a villain.

Overtake.

Nothing will ever kill him.

A child

Inside a newborn man's mind

Who does the same to women and

To those he leaves behind.

xXx

Someday soon,

I'm gonna be a father.

Of the goons,

All asking me, "Why bother?"

Use their bible-

Their naked love was no sin

Until they covered up themselves!

It's all interpretation.

xXx

Being loved

To feel the real delusion.

Pushed and shoved.

True love is an illusion.

But the feelings

Bring life to dead emotion

And kill a girl, create her world

Of promise and devotion.

xXx

Ecstasy,

The stirrings of your manhood.

Anarchy,

You're acting just as you should.

Oh, Moritz,

You are gonna be wounded!

You'll see the light, and all your fears,

That scared boy, will be soon dead.

xXx

Someday soon

We all will do the learning.

See the moon.

And hear its mirror-blue yearning.

I'm calling

To hear my echoed new tune,

A song so big, and one so small,

I'll be that song, someday soon.

**

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Reviews are appreciated! My next poem will focus on Ilse and her "cide" in Moritz's suicide. Will it be published "Someday Soon?" Or will I let it sit until I have nothing else…?**


	5. Guilty One

**Disclaimer:** Yes, I still exist. And sadly, I'm no closer to inheriting the rights to Spring Awakening. *sighs*

**Notes: **Me being angsty again. *shakes head* This from the same author of "Spring Mistakening?" Who'd have thought I had it in me? Speaking of SM, I'll be releasing a parody of a few RENT songs hopefully soon as part of my lead-in to the Glee parody series… so, stay tuned!

Anyway, this time, it's Ilse angst, set some time after Moritz's suicide. I stuck with the simple ABCB pattern for once, since it seemed to fit. It's first person again, Ilse's POV, with references to the second word in the fourth song of SA. (AKA: some swearing)

_GUILTY ONE_

There sits a nameless grave out there,

A cross of rotting pine.

It traps a heart and soul below

And both, I fear, are mine.

xXx

I think they all remember you-

Remember to forget.

Forget that once, they felt your pain,

Your boy-in-man mindset.

xXx

They knew that you were failing, so

They let you fail alone.

And pass alone as they all failed

In ways God can't condone.

xXx

They cannot take your deed away,

So they are taking you

By calling you a devil or

By simply sounding, "Who?"

xXx

But you defied your devil's sin

The only way you knew

By searching for your angel so

You'd be an angel too.

xXx

I'd like to be your angel here

Of life, so white and pure.

But you will be my angel now

Of things that never were.

xXx

I tried to give you heaven, and

Instead, I gave you hell.

I stole your light and left you dark,

The dark I know so well.

xXx

You didn't seem to act like them,

Who only cared for charm.

In fact, you seemed to shrink away

In fear of causing harm.

xXx

I thought, perhaps, that you were me.

Of dark, your life was made.

I thought you'd see we were the same.

And that made you afraid.

xXx

But, Moritz, we were not the same,

For you knew how to act,

And act is all I know to do,

Pretending that you're back.

xXx

So I pretended to be strong-

I told you of my life

In foolish hopes that made me weak,

That you might share my strife.

xXx

And maybe, had I let you talk,

Then I could share your woes,

And we'd be one, like little kids,

Wherever blue wind blows.

xXx

I blindly thrust my light at you,

So that's what you became,

Lost in dreams you'd never lose

And never find the same.

xXx

Too light, too dark, too strong, too weak-

No choice but to escape.

The cruel world I thrust was but

Another form of rape.

xXx

You knew the light; you feared the light

For light will lead to dark.

Why give you hope when there was none?

You needn't leave a mark.

xXx

Oh, but you did, in me as well,

A bullet through the heart.

You hurt me just as you had feared,

But I too played a part.

xXx

I saw the gun; I should have known

You'd never hurt a soul,

Except your own, which didn't count.

You'd lost it long ago.

xXx

I thought you then to be those men

Who flirt with guns all night.

I thought your gun your fav'rite friend

How lucky- I was right.

xXx

And worse, I didn't think I'd mind

To join with you in hell.

I guess I didn't think at all.

And now you can't as well.

xXx

At least if you had raped me there

We'd open other doors.

For once I wouldn't close my eyes

Instead, I just closed yours.

xXx

For shame that I forgot so soon

That some men have a soul.

For most men lost theirs long ago,

And mine? It comes and goes.

xXx

I thought, perhaps, there's someone else

Of course- well, there was you.

And so I screamed; I didn't know

Or hear you screaming too.

xXx

I scolded you for my own fear,

That I was beneath you,

Not in the way I wanted, and

I still now think it true.

xXx

By the time you notice me?

Or 'til I noticed you?

It wasn't me who'd lie a corpse

Upon the morning dew.

xXx

I saw the gun, and still I ran,

In hopes you'd follow soon.

You kind of did; you ran to death,

Beneath horizon moon.

xXx

Now death is all I have in store,

You are all I have.

It isn't much, to love a ghost,

But love I sure don't lack.

xXx

For on that night, I heard that shot,

That night my heart did die,

As I ran back with drying tears,

That bullet stopped my cry.

xXx

I cannot cry without a heart.

You were my heart and soul.

Without them, all my love is gone,

Yet love still pays its toll.

xXx

I tried to hide myself in dirt

So I'd forget that night

I sought to be your angel and

I was your bitch, alright.

xXx

But those men didn't last for long;

It wasn't worth the fight.

And so, one night, I took a gun

And smiled at the sight.

xXx

Oh, I could be an angel, yes,

For I gave life so well

And took it then, like they took mine,

My only doubt, the smell.

xXx

You were the first I murdered, though

I can't say you're the last.

Someone has to pay the price,

And men pay all too fast.

xXx

I don't deny the guilt, not now,

It's better to feel that

Than nothingness where you should be

Where men try to attack.

xXx

I let them in, then kick them out.

I know you'll be ashamed

To keep their hellish company,

But someone has to pay.

xXx

Call me insane, and you'll be right-

You were, you did it too.

You killed me, and I killed you,

And anything that's blue.

xXx

I cannot kill your murderer,

For then I'd become you.

You wouldn't want a part of me

Just as I wanted you.

xXx

You wouldn't want my company,

The one you tried to flee.

I understand; if I were you,

I'd be afraid of me.

xXx

At least I still remember you,

For you're what I've become.

There's nothing else that's left of you

But me, the guilty one.

**

* * *

The same Ilse who sings of life at the end of Purple Summer? No way. But, this is just one interpretation. Normally, I don't think Ilse would run if she saw the gun, but if she thought he used guns like the men who used guns on her, I think she wouldn't think more of it, lost in that dream world of hers. And then she's so affected by his death, she thinks she just as well as murdered him, grows empty, and runs away to sell herself more, to make herself dirtier, since she can't be pure. And yes, sometimes, when they leave their guns out, she gives them what they deserve. She's a little insane. (Just a little.) *is sheepish* Um, Happy Late Thanksgiving? If you want something happy and in the holiday spirit, I wrote a Thanksgiving themed "Dressing the Turkey" last year. (Okay, I am shameless.)**


	6. All Will Know

**Disclaimer:** I own not a notion, I escape, and aim content, I don't own emotion‒ oh, wait, that's RENT.

**Notes: **I know, it's been years since my last update, and quite sadly, this poem's been sitting on my desktop about that long. But if anyone's stuck around long enough to read this‒ happy Easter! Here's another depressing poem to help you celebrate! This one's another Melchior-based poem, set during that brief moment before "Those You've Known" as he finds Wendla's grave. He doesn't sob immediately… so what's going on in his head? The verses are short, first person, AABCCB pattern.

_ALL WILL KNOW_

Oh, god, oh, god,

It's her‒ she's gone.

She's gone‒ where has she gone?

She's gone below.

Oh, Wendla, no‒

You're here‒ you must walk on.

xXx

This cannot be.

It isn't she.

It's not‒ it's not my fault!

What happened there‒

Of course I care!

My god‒ it's not assault.

xXx

They killed her, yes.

They made a mess.

Anemia‒ that's all!

What could have been,

It would have been‒

Why can't she hear my call?

xXx

A lie, that's it.

A trap, that fits.

She can't be lying here.

They always lie.

How could she die?

Not now that I'm so near.

xXx

They won't get me,

Or her, they'll see,

If they decide to look.

I may have looked,

And then got hooked,

But I gave what I took.

xXx

It isn't wrong

To sing a song

Of purple summertime.

Why should I mourn

How I was born?

Is nature such a crime?

xXx

Why, Wendla, why?

I had to try.

You liked it‒ didn't you?

There is no love,

Or holy dove,

So why the pain and rue?

xXx

It must be true.

Oh god, why you?

Just as you learned to live.

To live can't kill.

It was the pill!

So‒ no need to forgive.

xXx

I wasn't there.

Why should I care?

I didn't know her well.

It's just regret.

Oh, god, forget!

The heaven out of hell.

xXx

It's far too late.

Let's call it fate.

Except I don't believe.

An afterlife?

An almost wife?

Who'd want that long to grieve?

xXx

Why should I, then?

There's lots of men

And girls to go around.

And she won't know.

She didn't know.

Oh god‒ I let her down.

xXx

Down, then in bliss

Beneath my kiss

And thinking that I gave.

Down now in earth

With no new birth

The whole world is her grave!

xXx

She's everywhere!

She strips me bare,

Just in another way.

She isn't real‒

She makes me feel‒

God, no more children's play!

xXx

Inside I know

That I should go.

She's only in my mind.

And yet, go where?

Oh, god, I'm scared.

There's nowhere she won't find.

xXx

I'll join her, yes,

Their God knows best.

He'll ship me down to hell.

Yes, I killed you,

Your child too,

A part of me as well.

xXx

And, of the rest,

There's nothing left.

So dying won't be hard.

I'll just concur

And follow her,

Let down my failing guard.

xXx

She wouldn't want

For me to haunt

Like her, but there's no choice.

The villain dies,

And no one cries.

They haven't got a voice.

xXx

Now say good-bye.

To who? The sky?

There's no one left to see.

They called; I tried.

I touched; they died.

And now there's only me.

xXx

Well, I'll go too.

You did this, you!

I don't know who to blame.

What's wrong with joy?

I'm just a boy!

They'll all forget my name.

xXx

Well… here I go.

One final blow,

And only me to fall.

Hey, look! You won!

I lost; I'm done!

If you could hear me bawl…

xXx

And in the end,

I'll just pretend

To see you at my side.

And Moritz too.

He's just like you.

And me, through suicide.

xXx

You'd never guess

He taught me best.

He taught me how to fail.

He got it right.

You shouldn't fight,

For either way, you'll bail.

xXx

Well, watch me now,

Just watch, somehow,

I'll down my final foe.

Just hear my call.

And watch me fall.

And one day, all will know.

* * *

**I think I forfeited my right to reviews when I didn't post for two years… but I am working on a Hernst poem! And their fates could be in your hands…**


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